Some (possibly) scary shit going down

Well, it started out a week ago. I was having some tenderness in my belly last Sunday, went to the ER and junk just to make sure it wasn't my appendix. It wasn't. But then the pain was still there Wednesday, so I went to Doctor's Care. They took some blood, did a pelvic exam and all that, still no results. So I went to my OB/GYN Friday (just my annual), and she said it was nothing to do with anything in her specialty. Still tender, but nothing I was immediately worried about. But yesterday afternoon I started having shooting pain all over my abdomen. Went to the ER again, and they did a CT scan and some blood work and all that. My liver enzymes are high and my liver's enlarged. This could mean many different things, I discovered... anything from problems with my gallbladder to hepatitis to metastatic cancer. That's not fucking scary at all. I know sarcasm doesn't come across well over the Internet, but I hope it was clear how sarcastic I was being just now. I'm pretty freaking terrified. Add to that the fact I've lost over ten pounds in the last month and I've lost my appetite for the most part... yeah. I'm doing a pretty good job of not freaking out about it. I could be in bed, crying my eyes out, thinking the worst, but I'm not. I'm actually sort of relieved that they found something this time. It's always easier knowing you're close to putting a name on something, that you have a short list of what could be wrong, rather than just being sick and not having any clue why. I have to go back and get an ultrasound tomorrow, and they'll have the results of that by Wednesday. But no matter what it is, the second I find out I can start getting treated and be on my way to feeling better. Well, on the off chance it's cancer, I can start fighting it and try to make peace with the fact that I could very well die, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I'm strangely calm about the whole thing, but that's okay. Like the doctor said, it could be something as simple as needing my gallbladder removed, which, although it requires surgery, really wouldn't be all that bad. It's a pretty routine procedure and wouldn't horribly affect my quality of life.

On another note, my future ex husband might be moving away to NYC in the near future. Although it would be sort of a relief to know I won't ever see him again, it's not something I'm insanely happy about either. He and I have sort of made peace lately, as much as possible anyway. I don't harbor the ill will towards him that I once did, but at the same time, I am very satisfied with my life as it is now (aside from being broke) and there's no way in hell I'd want him back. But there's really no point wasting time and energy on being angry at him. He's got problems and will more than likely have a pretty miserable love life from here on out. I feel sorry for him. Never enough to want to take him back, but sorry enough that I can't really be too mad at him anymore. I hurt a lot for a long time, but that's over and I'm happy now, and if it weren't for him pushing me into the dark place he did, I may never have met my current boyfriend. I think everything happens for a reason. Anyway, that's all for now.