Unhealthy relationship with food

I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I love food. I love eating. I love experiencing new flavor combinations and all that great stuff. But I have an awful lack of self control. I eat when I'm sad, stressed, angry, bored... you name it. The answer is food. So I fucking hate food. I'm fat, and of course it's food's fault I'm fat, not mine. :( I've had this problem for years and years and years. I used to kind of circumvent it by being bulimic, but now I just... get fatter. Now I'm on a diet. It's not a horribly restrictive diet, just kind of eating less and eating healthier. I won't lie, the healthier food is definitely delicious, but it just kills me that I'm basically forced to make certain choices because I've gotten so damn fat. I have gained nearly 60 pounds in the last two years. Granted I have a thyroid problem and 2 years ago I was throwing up everything I ate, but it's hard not to get disgusted with myself over something like that. I'm trying to be smart about this whole healthy eating thing... having small snacks during the day to keep my metabolism up, doing some exercise, eating fruits, veggies, lean meat, Greek yogurt, etc. It's just so hard not to pig out when I'm as stressed as I am now. It's a battle between how stressed I am by being fat versus how stressed I am by the rest of my life. I miss my comfort eating. I'm going through some hard times right now, and I really, really want to just console myself with a pint of ice cream. My stupid husband hasn't signed the divorce papers yet, apparently I'm unwittingly in a feud with Clayton's mom, we're trying to get things in place to move at some point in the next couple months, etc. It just makes me want to cry all the time and consequently stuff my face. How do you give up a source of comfort like that? I want to quit smoking too, but I'm pretty sure I'd be about ready to kill people if I were to do that at this juncture. Well, I may not have a choice about quitting smoking... we're going to be super broke next week, and it's going to come down to a choice between eating and smoking. That thought right there just makes me want to cry. I haven't eaten lunch yet. I know I shouldn't skip it, but I'm so angry at food right now I just don't want to eat. As if me not eating will teach food a lesson for making me fat. I'm such an idiot.