Things aren't going so well

Clayton's illness is getting worse, to the point he's barely able to work. I'm going to try my hardest to beg and plead for more work at my job, but I don't know how well that'll go over. He's having to take some time off work and we really need something to help close the gap. Not to mention my hours have been cut severely, so really we've needed the money for a while, but we need it even more so now. It's really hard watching him get worse and knowing there's nothing I can say or do to stop it. He's doing what he can... he's getting treatment with a psychiatrist, but the meds aren't doing anything to level him out as far as his bipolar goes, and his anxiety has become almost crippling and that hasn't really been addressed by his doctor. One thing that really worries me about him is that schizophrenia runs on one side of his family. Although his mom doesn't have it, she has bipolar and has a half-brother that's full-blown schizophrenic, so I fear that his problems now may only be the tip of the iceberg. I have been trying so hard to deal with it with as much love and patience as I have, but I find myself getting so frustrated and feeling so helpless because there's nothing I can do to make him feel better. I love him so much, but watching him fall apart is tearing my heart to pieces. I don't know what else to do. I take him to his appointments, I make sure he takes his medicine, I give him the best pep talks I can muster, I comfort him when he's sad, and none of it seems to make a bit of difference. All the while I'm trying to get my emotions under control, because I've been up, down, and all over the place lately. The instability always seems to hit during the summer. I've got to get it under control. I've got to keep it together. I can't go to the hospital... who would take care of him? *sigh* I don't know. It's hard being the stable one in a relationship when really you're not stable at all.