Again and again and again

So I have my bazillionth interview tomorrow. Honestly, it wouldn't be my dream job, but a job's a job after nearly six months of unemployment. I don't know why my interviews haven't turned out better to this point. I work really hard and efficiently, I'm smart, I learn quickly, I'm friendly and outgoing... what's not to like? I have to admit though, my inability to get a job really gets to me sometimes. I take it more personally than I probably should. I start thinking there's something fundamentally wrong with me that makes people not want to hire me, like I'm worthless and don't deserve a job. I've got a bit of a decision to make though. Is it worth working only part time so I can keep my disability and Medicare, which is honestly pretty worthless, or should I be looking for a full time job with benefits? I guess it remains to be seen whether or not I am actually capable of full time work, but I think given the right situation I might be able to handle it. The reason that whole scenario comes to mind is that I think part of the reason I haven't found a job to this point is my unwillingness to work full time because of the necessity of keeping Medicare. But honestly, the idea of depending solely on Medicare when I get divorced and lose my husband's insurance terrifies me a little. My health is a little iffy *major understatement* and is Medicare really going to cover me well enough that I don't end up in the poor house? For example, Medicare will not cover a colonoscopy for me because I'm under 50, even though with my history it's definitely medically necessary. They only cover an annual gyno visit once every two years (aren't they called annual for a reason?), and a lot of specialists won't even accept Medicare patients under 65. And as far as disability goes, the government somehow expects me to live on less than $700 a month. I guess they don't expect me to be living on my own, because you're hard pressed to even find a hole-in-the-wall apartment for less than $450 around here. Okay, so let's assume I found a crappy little $450 apartment. That leaves me about $225 to live on. Then you take out $60-$80 a month for electricity, so that brings us down to about $150 a month. Then there's gas for my car, which runs about $75 a month just driving the bare minimum to go to my doctors and such, so that's $75 left for food AND my medical bills AND the costs that randomly creep up. That doesn't even account for paying for cable, internet, or paying my credit card bill. Even if I got food stamps, how the hell am I supposed to live on $674 a month, honestly? I either have to live with my parents, which they can't afford right now, or I have to live with someone who doesn't mind sharing costs with me (thankfully that'd be the bf right now). It's like they fucking want me to be homeless and not to get the medical treatment I desperately need. How is that fucking fair? And they say, oh, you can work as long as it's less than this number of hours and less than $980 a month, but if you work at all they try to come up with some reason to take your disability away or make you repay $10,090 in 30 days (like they did to me recently... still fighting that one) when they know your assets are less than $2,000 to begin with. SSDI and Medicare are so fucking worthless that it's almost better to risk my health working than to stay on them. *sigh* Not that I have much of an option now since I obviously am not having the most luck finding a job. Hopefully that will change.